I have recieved my eviction notice, and have started packing up the things in the rental property. i have to be out of the rental property by end of june, 2010. even though i'm feeling like i let my two children down, i'm still feeling thankful to GOD because i still have my life and health, and have been free of drugs for five years. i look at this as another hill to climb, i have information on place for single mothers with/without children lving with them. I will be checking in to there next weekend (allowing time to finish moving my things), and they will stay with their dad until i can find another place of employment.
I was speaking with a person from our department of health and human services, and she said the most hurtful thing, she knows about me losing my job at the assistant living home because i reported abuse on one of the managers, and she told me "well, you have to think about your family first" she also went on to say "i hate that happened to that little old lady, but, it's not the first time and it won't be the last..now you are out of a job cause you call youself doing the right thing" when she said that i thought to myself for a minute, she is right..but then, i thought, " but how could i think about my job when the abused person could've been killed"? i'm still confused about how i spiraled because i was doing the right thing, but i still think that if i had to do it again, i would do it a little different..but i would still do it.
for now, i will ask for help (ask and you shall recieve) and stay clean and try to remain optimistic.
I ask you all to just be happy for the lives that you have, and remember to thank GOD, even through the hard times..HE still is The GREATEST!
Peace be upon you all